


It's Fine, Bro

by booksandtea15



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff galore, M/M, Platonic Kisses AU, Sorting out feelings, i just love them okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 01:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16461017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksandtea15/pseuds/booksandtea15
Summary: Donghyuck just really, really wants someone to kiss. Mark just wonders why, exactly, it has to be him.





	It's Fine, Bro

“You want to…  _ what? _ ” Mark blinked at Donghyuck, frozen in the process of lifting chopsticks to his mouth.

Donghyuck was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, wringing his hands, biting on his lower lip, eyes resolutely on Mark even as his cheeks flushed bright enough that Mark was sure they should have burst into flames by now. “I want to kiss. Platonically.” Mark blinked at Donghyuck again, and Donhyuck continued, a slightly desperate tinge to his voice now. “I like kisses. And I have no one to kiss me. And like, we already accidentally kissed, that one time, when we were drunk. So I thought. You know. It wouldn’t be a big deal. Platonic kisses, you know.”

Mark gaped, chopsticks falling into his bowl with a loud clatter as his nerveless fingers lost their hold on them. “What?”

Donghyuck was looking increasingly uncomfortable, face so red Mark was tempted to break an egg on it, just to see what would happen. “I mean. Yeah. You know. We work so hard. Like, training and rehearsals every day. And there’s no time for like, relationships and shit, and I just thought…”

“You just thought you would ask one of your bandmates to make out with you?” Mark asked incredulously, confusion swirling through him. Donghyuck had always been weird and insistent about touch, about cuddling and stroking people’s hair and shit like that, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

“Not make out!” Donghyuck protested, waving his hands. “Just like, you know. Kisses. Platonic kisses. You know?”

Mark frowned. “No? I don’t?”

Donghyuck groaned, mouth twisting into a grimace. “Mark, I just. I’m just. We’re training all the time, and rehearsing, and I’m lonely and. I just. Want a kiss…”

Mark sighed. “Donghyuck…” Mark, well. He kinda got it, okay. He kinda gets it. There are some nights where he wondered what it would have been like to grow up normally, to get a girlfriend, to feel the flutter and flush of a crush, to wonder whether someone would like him. But that was usually when the day was just a bit too long, when he kept messing up. It just wasn’t… He could put it out of his mind, most of the time. But this was just… “I mean, I get it, I guess. But why me? Why  _ this _ ?”

Donghyuck pouted, shuffling closer, closer, closer, until he was standing right behind Mark, dropping down so his head rested on Mark’s shoulder. “Because I want to. And because…” Here there was a little hesitance, and Mark felt Donghyuck press his face into Mark’s neck, voice coming out slightly muffled. “Because you’re… you. We’ve trained together so long. I thought you might understand.”

Mark sighed. He picked up his chopsticks and placed it gently, neatly, on his bowl. Mark sighed again. He turned his head, leaning back enough so he could look into Donghyuck’s pleading eyes, and placed a soft, quick peck on Donghyuck’s cheek. “There you go.”

Donghyuck’s cheeks were flushed, and he was smiling slightly. “ _ Hyung _ , come on, that’s not what I meant!”

Mark laughed, standing up and depositing his bowl in the sink. 

“Try me again tomorrow night, lover boy.”

“Maybe I will.”

“Hah, sure,” Mark huffed, walking away, rolling his eyes. 

\---

The next night, after a surprisingly light day of training and rehearsing, Mark was zoning out, mindlessly watching some anime that seemed to consist solely of boys with ridiculously beautiful eyes staring soulfully at each other, there came a knock on the door and Donghyuck’s head poked itself into the room.

Mark looked up, blinking slowly. “Hi.”

Donghyuck smiled shyly, then eased the rest of his body into the room, closing the door behind him. “Hi.”

Mark looked back at the screen, where two boys were now standing distressingly close to each. Just a little bit closer and… Mark hit pause. “Is there something you want?”

Donghyuck came closer, sitting down next to Mark. “You said-- I’m trying-- Last night you said that--”

“You want a kiss again?”

Donghyuck nodded, but held up his hands as Mark shifted forward. “ _ Yes _ , I want one, but no more of that stupid, chicken out shit where you kiss my cheeks.” He pointed an accusing finger at Mark. “I want one on the lips, mister. All proper like.”

Mark pursed his lips, blinked at Donghyuck, then burst out laughing. “All proper like? Do you hear yourself?”

“Yes, and I make sense!” Donghyuck exclaimed. “Stop being a dick and kiss me!.”

Still laughing, Mark took Donghyuck’s face in his hands, and placed a sloppy, loud, smiley kiss on Donghyuck’s lips, before pulling back and wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “That what you had in mind?”

Donghyuck looked at him with wide eyes for a second, before sighing and shaking his head. “Mark what the-- that’s like, like the stupid fanservice kisses. No, no, you have to do it properly like, like.” Donghyuck huffed, before grabbing Mark’s face in  _ his  _ hands, staring fiercely into his eyes. “Like this.”

And with those words, Donghyuck leaned in, fitting his lips softly, softly, against Mark’s still smiling ones and, and it stayed there, and then Mark’s smile faded and. 

And Mark’s breath caught in his throat. Donghyuck moved his lips slightly against Mark’s lips, almost seeming like they were curving in, inviting Mark’s lips to move with them and. And Mark didn’t know. He didn’t know what to think. 

This was his bandmate, the boy he had all but grown up with, training by his side and complaining when Mark stayed at the studio too long when he wanted to go back to their dorm and sleep. And yet, yet there was a tingling in Mark’s lips, a tingling that spread down, down into his chest, and he felt curiously breathless, his chest squeezing together tight. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was… strange. 

Mark’s hands were clenched on his knees, and his lips were just starting to warm up to the idea of moving with Donghyuck’s, of participating in the plush pull and push of Donghyuck’s lips, when Donghyuck pulled away, eyes slightly dazed.

“Like that, you see? Like, like a  _ proper _ kiss.”

Mark cleared his throat, scooting away from Donghyuck, resisting the temptation to scrub his lips, not wanting to draw any more attention to his face than could be helped. It was feeling uncomfortably hot as it was. “Oh. Okay. I see.” Mark dropped his eyes to his laps, realising with a start that his hands were shaking. 

“Yup. So like. For future reference.”

“Right. Right.” 

“Right.” Donghyuck nodded once, twice, backed up to the door, nodded once more then slipped out and closed the door behind him. 

Mark let out a big, strained sigh. This was fine. He had, uh,  _ helped _ Donghyuck, just like the younger boy had wanted and, and things were fine. Maybe, maybe Donghyuck would even be satisfied now. Or maybe Mark hadn’t done something right, and things were fine now. Yup, so fine. 

\---

The whole next day, Mark was distracted, missing beats and steps left and right, even tuning out of entire conversations, only coming to when Jaemin snapped his fingers in front of Mark’s face. Jaemin lifted an eyebrow as Mark’s eyes snapped to his, crossing his arms and leaning backwards. 

“Okay, spill, till what time did you watch anime last night? Mark, my boy, listen. I know it’s nice to watch those soulful, ripped,” at this Jaemin waggled his eyebrows, and Mark scoffed, “anime boys running around on screen but--”

“Oh, shut up. I went to sleep at a perfectly reasonable time, chill.”

“So, 2 am, right?”

“Yup.”

“Sounds about right.”

Jaemin bit his lip, leaning forward, almost as if he wanted to shield their conversation from the rest of the sweaty boys collapsed around them. “Hyung, are you sure you’re okay? You seem a bit… out of it today.”

Mark sighed, ready to give a snappy answer, not in the mood to deal with Jaemin’s overly protective, and sometimes performative care, but he caught Donghyuck’s eye across the room, and his voice died in his throat. 

He had told the truth. He had turned off the lights and got into bed at a perfectly reasonable time the previous night. It was the getting to sleep part that had tripped him up. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind replayed the feeling, the taste, the  _ moment _ again in his head. Over and over, Donghyuck’s hands coming up to still his head, his soft lips landing against Mark’s, the almost hesitant (hopeful, a small part of him whispered) push of plush lips against Mark’s.

It’s not like Mark has never kissed someone before. Hell, there were plenty of opportunities even while training, but since debut… There hasn’t been time. And the threat of being found out, of ruining his, and possibly the group’s career before even getting started properly. It was a shackle around Mark’s neck, a shackle that he had known was there, in the same way you knew you had to breathe, or blinking, but something that happened mostly unnoticed and you paid no attention to until something  _ made _ you pay attention to it.

Now, though, with the memory of Donghyuck’s lips fresh in Mark’s mind, still playing in his head throughout the day, adding some fairly unnecessary details, in Mark’s opinion (he was sure he had never grabbed Donghyuck’s shirt, but his mind seemed insistent on adding that little detail, for some reason), the shackle was very present, and very there, and Mark was chaffing. 

It wasn’t just limited to the kiss either, his mind conjuring up images of him holding hands with some faceless individual, arms soft and gentle around him, falling asleep in someone’s arms…

It was irritating, and inconvenient, and it was all Donghyuck’s fault.

So, in one of their breaks, Mark plopped down next to Donghyuck, grabbed one of his hands, and stared resolutely ahead of him. He knew the other members wouldn’t think much of it, since Donghyuck was always looking for affection and attention, even when covered in sweat, but… Mark rarely, if ever, did. 

Mark felt Donghyuck start next to him, could almost feel the eyes turned towards him physically, but he ignored it, fishing in his pocket for his phone, and starting to scroll through Twitter, still holding Donghyuck’s hand. After a while, Mark felt Donghyuck turn, and knew the other boy had stopped staring at him.

Letting out a small sigh of relief, Mark couldn’t stop the small smile stealing over his face. This was only fair, after all. Donghyuck had kissed him last night, (so  _ softly _ ), and had asked him for kisses in the first place. Mark was allowed to take this small liberty. 

When they finally got up again to continue training, Mark turned around to help Donghyuck to his feet, making to pull away after. Donghyuck’s fingers clung to his, however, and Mark turned to see Donghyuck smiling at him. A blinding, breath-stealing smile that definitely didn’t help Mark’s concentration for the rest of the day.

\---

That night, Mark could not settle. He had retired early, begging off watching the nightly drama, going to his room to… wait. He was going to his room to wait. There was no getting around the fact that Mark was going to his room to wait for Donghyuck. 

To wait for Donghyuck to show up and to… what? To kiss him again? Maybe this time with Mark being a more active participant in the whole… situation?

So, yes. Mark was waiting. He was waiting, and Donghyuck wasn’t showing up. 

At first Mark had attempted to distract himself. He had, he had watched their dance practise videos, looking for mistakes, things that could be corrected, improved. That had lasted a while, as Mark scribbled down ideas, filling a page or two in the notebook he kept under his bed. 

And then…

Well, then Mark couldn’t pretend he wasn’t waiting for the door to open. Mark couldn’t pretend he wasn’t waiting for Donghyuck to poke his head through the door, and shuffle his way to Mark’s bed, and take Mark’s head softly, softly,  _ softly _ in his hands, and kiss Mark softly, and--

And Mark needed to stop thinking about this, because this was something that Donghyuck had asked  _ him _ for, and it hand only been one kiss anyway, and maybe, maybe Donghyuck had gotten what he wanted and wouldn’t be back and--

There was a knock on Mark’s door, and Mark looked up a little too quickly for someone supposed to not be interested in this whole thing anyway.

This time, Donghyuck didn’t even pause at the doorway, dropping down on Mark’s bed and taking his hand, scooting closer until their knees touched. 

“You held my hand today,” Donghyuck remarked softly, slotting their fingers together, thumb stroking over his palm.

Mark clenched his jaw. No blushing.  _ No blushing _ . “Well, I mean, you’re always holding people’s hands and, and shit,” he mumbled.

Donghyuck bit his lip, eyes scrunching up. “True.” He cleared his throat, fingers tightening around Mark’s. “You still okay with this. I mean, last night--”

“Was fine.” Mark swallowed, watching as Donghyuck’s eyes widened. “I mean, I kinda dared you, when I, when I k-kissed you on the cheek. So like. It’s fine.”

Donghyuck huffed a laugh, his other hand coming up to land on Mark’s knee. Mark tried to pretend the  _ searing _ heat from Donghyuck’s improbably hot hand didn’t make his heart beat a little too wildly. Because that was stupid. This was  _ Donghyuck _ . This was  _ fine _ .

“This is still fine though, right?” Donghyuck asked, leaning closer, closer, until Mark could feel his hot breaths puffing against his cheek.

Mark swallowed. It was audible, and Mark could see Donghyuck grinning, and he tried not to wince. The smart thing to do, the rational, sane thing, the thing that would most definitely avoid awkwardness later on, would be to say no. To say that they’re fine, that they were still friends, still close, that nothing had changed (even though Mark could still feel the phantom press of Donghyuck’s lips against his), but that they should probably stop this. 

But, Mark has never claimed to be an especially smart guy, and, and… And Donghyuck was so close, and his breath was still puffing against his mouth, now, and he just, he just wanted, like, Donghyuck had been the one to ask first, right. And they were still fine, they were still bros…

“Yeah, sure,” Mark said, ignoring the way his voice sounded too breathy, too soft.

Donghyuck smiled, blindingly wide and, still with that smile on his face, he leaned in, pressing his smile against Mark. 

Nonsensically, the first thing Mark thought of, once his thought-process kicked in again after a litany of ‘soft, warm, smile,  _ Donghyuck _ ’, was that he was tasting Donghyuck’s smile. The smile that always, without fail, managed to make Mark crack one too. The one that Mark always longed to see, when things got bad, and he was tired, and he didn’t want to do  _ anything  _ anymore. 

He was tasting Donghyuck’s smile. 

He still wasn’t really kissing back, though. A fact Donghyuck reminded him of when his hands grabbed Mark’s shoulders and he pulled away slightly, eyes sparkling, and whispered, “You’re allowed to… kiss back, you know. Participate.”

Mark blink. Tried to swallow, discovered his throat was drier than Renjun’s wit, and nodded. Donghyuck grinned again and pulled him in, and, and this time, Mark  _ moved _ .

The first move, the one where he captured Donghyuck’s upper lip between his, was intentional. The second one, when Donghyuck let out a surprised little groan and held Mark’s shoulders tighter, where Mark’s hands flew to grab at Donghyuck’s waist, was… wholly unintentional. 

Mark’s hands gripped around Donghyuck’s waist, squeezing, feeling Donghyuck’s muscles shifting beneath his hands and--

“Whoa,” Donghyuck pushed Mark away, holding him an arm’s length away, hands still on Mark’s shoulders, this time pushing, instead of holding close. “Whoa, okay, that was, um, good. Yes, thanks.”

“Donghyuck--”

Donghyuck stumbled upright, almost falling, popping back up with an almost frantic grin on his face. “So, yes, this was so cool of you to do, ah, thanks.” Donghyuck was against the door now. “So, okay, cool, bye.” With that, he slipped out, door closing softly behind him, leaving Mark behind with heaving breaths, and a very, very confused mind.

\---

The whole of the next day, things were… off. It wasn’t extremely noticeable. Not enough that any of the other members noticed or commented on something strange. But, Mark noticed.

Mark noticed that Donghyuck wouldn’t meet his eye, noticed that Donghyuck was… avoiding him. In small ways, almost inconsequential, really, to unknowing eyes. But, not to Mark. Mark noticed when Donghyuck wasn’t the first to offer him water when they took a break. He noticed when Donghyuck opted to splay on the ground, claiming it was too warm, instead of taking his usual perch on the couch next to Mark. 

None of those things, on their own, would have been that concerning to Mark, not really. It wasn’t like they were connected at the hip. But, coupled with what had happened the night before, Mark felt an uncomfortable tightening in his belly every time he looked at Donghyuck, seeked his attention, and saw him already occupied, always looking another way. Always looking away.

In his bunk, in his room, that night (without a kiss from Donghyuck), Mark was uneasy. Well, more than uneasy. He had choked down his food that night, only getting it down because he knew he needed it, and he still remembered Taeyong taking him aside for a ‘serious talk’ the last time he suspected Mark was neglecting himself. 

There were snores and sniffles around him as the rest of the group slept soundly. Mark rolled onto his stomach, stiffling his groan. This shouldn’t be this… complicated. It should be fine. Donghyuck had asked to do it. He had. Mark had, well, sort of, kinda agreed. And they were still bros. They were still fine. Why was Donghyuck acting so  _ weird? _ He was the one who had  _ asked _ . He was the one who had wanted to kiss Mark. Mark had just gone along with it. 

_ Why was he acting so weird? _

Mark huffed into his pillow. This was stupid. 

Hoisting himself up, Mark blinked into the dark. He couldn’t sleep. He was bothered by this, and he didn’t understand, and he couldn’t  _ sleep _ and that was a  _ problem _ and Donghyuck was gonna have to  _ fix this _ .

_ Now. _

Mark had walked around in their dorms in the dark often enough that he only bumped into something once, and he didn’t even yelp. Out loud, anyway. Carefully picking his way through the apartment, Mark made his way to Donghyuck’s room, lowering himself down next to Donghyuck’s bed. The boy was facing the wall, but by the way his shoulders formed a rigid line, Mark knew he wasn’t asleep yet.

“Hey.” Mark tapped Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Hey.”

Donghyuck hummed, but didn’t turn around.

Mark narrowed his eyes, irritation pricking his skin. “Hey, asshole who kissed me and then ignored me, turn around.”

There was a pause, before Donghyuck turned around, a small smirk playing around the corners or his mouth. “Hey. You sound angry.”

Mark took a deep breath. He was gonna keep his calm. Mostly because he didn’t want to wake anyone else, but also because he didn’t actually wanna  _ be _ angry. He just wanted to… figure this out. “I’m not angry. I’m confused.” Mark dropped his eyes, Donghyuck’s eyes glittering too brightly in the dark. “Why did you ignore me today. I thought-- you said it was fine. You said it was fine. You said you just wanted to kiss, and then you ran away and--” Mark stopped himself, feeling the words bunch up in his throat, threatening to tumble out and strangle him. 

Donghyuck stared at him for a while, before scooting backwards and patting the space in front of him. “Come on.”

Mark huffed, but climbed up, scooting closer until their foreheads pressed against each other. “I still want to talk about it.”

“Okay. Give me a second.”

Mark sighed, but nodded, tugging the blanket further up and rearranging their limbs more comfortably. After a while, Mark already feeling heavy, breath starting to even out, Donghyuck’s hand came up to rest on Mark’s side, gently rubbing up and down. Mark tried not to let his breath stutter out.

“I like you.”

“I like you too,” Mark frowned. “Like, why wouldn’t I?”

“Hah,” Donghyuck breathed, hand tightening on Mark. “No, I mean. I mean.” Donghyuck breathed out, and Mark opened his eyes to see Donghyuck staring at him earnestly. “I mean, I  _ like you _ , hyung. I, I asked you for kisses, because, because, I liked you. I just wanted kisses, but I like you and--- and it’s not fair and--” Donghyuck broke off, face crumpling. “I like you, and I’m using you. And, and it’s not fair.”

Mark breathed, feeling the way Donghyuck’s hand moved with his ribcage. “Oh.” He breathed in. He breathed out. “Oh. That’s okay.”

“What, no, that’s not okay I don’t--”

Mark smiled, watching the way Donghyuck’s eyes widened. “It’s okay. I like kissing you. Liked kissing you.”

Donghyuck frowned, a distressed noise leaving his throat. “But I  _ like _ you. I  _ like you _ , and I loved kissing you and--”

Mark leaned forward, clumsily bumping his nose against Donghyuck’s before fitting their lips together. Donghyuck didn’t pull away, but he stopped Mark trying to open his mouth with a shake of his head. 

“Mark. Mark, no. Mark, wait.”

“ _ Why?  _ Why? I like you, the way you are. I like watching movies with you, and hanging out with you, and training with you, and really,  _ really _ liked kissing you.” Mark placed his hand on Donghyuck’s face, thumb stroking softly over Donghyuck’s cheeks, booping his nose. “I like you. I want to kiss you. I want you to not ignore me. Come on, trust Hyung. I like you too.”

Donghyuck, eyes wide, bit his lip, before nodding. “Okay. Okay. I like you. I like you very much.” Donghyuck took a raggedy breath, his voice small and pinched. “Please don’t hurt me.”

Mark shifted closer, heart clenching up at the small sound of Donghyuck’s voice. “Of course not Hyuckie. Of course not. Come on, let’s go to sleep.” Mark shifted to kiss the top of Donghyuck’s head. 

“Okay, hyung. Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really like Markhyuck. I just want them both to get so much love. I'm so SOFT FOR THEM!!!
> 
> Twitter:   
> [booksandtea15](https://twitter.com/booksandtea15)


End file.
